Milwaukee, WI

Foreclosures are in the news on a near-weekly business in Milwaukee. Lenders are foreclosing on mortgages at a record rate, due in no small part to the adjustable rate mortgages that were ubiquitous a few years ago. So many foreclosures means a glut of properties available at foreclosure sales, something which can be very tempting for investors or others just hoping to make a buck in the real estate market. Today’s Milwaukee Journal Sentinel featured a primer on foreclosures aimed at helping purchasers at sheriff’s sales make informed decisions when purchasing foreclosed properties.

The problem? The Journal Sentinel got nearly everything wrong.

A bank foreclosure can occur when mortgage payments are unpaid for six months in an owner-occupied home, or unpaid for three months for a rental property.

Not true. The bank can foreclose for a number of reasons, including missed payments or a failure to pay real estate taxes. There is no requirement that a lender wait for six missed payments before commencing a foreclosure action. However, after the entry of judgment in a foreclosure action, the owner has six months to refinance, sell the property, or work out a deal with their lender before the property can be sold at sheriff’s sale. That period is shortened to three months on non-owner occupied properties, such as rental properties.

At the sale, buyers must have 10% of the sale price - cashier’s check or cash - and proof that they can get a mortgage before their bids are accepted.

That’s just not true. There simply is no requirement that a buyer show proof they can get a mortgage.

Within a week or two of the sale, a judge must approve the sale before it becomes final. At any point before the judge approves the sale, the owner can stop the sale by paying the missed mortgage payments and costs.

Again, not true. The owner can redeem the property before the court approves the sale by paying the total amount of the mortgage - including costs of the foreclosure action. There is no requirement that a lender simply accept the missed mortgaged payments and costs, and many lenders won’t accept missed payments after a default.

Making money by purchasing foreclosed properties is a tempting prospect. In light of that, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s article full of misinformation is downright irresponsible. The errors are so glaring, so fundamental, that I expect corrections to be published shortly.

Foreclosure, mortgage

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Foreclosure, mortgage

On a whim on Saturday night my companion and I stopped at Super Video on Greenfield Avenue in Milwaukee. Super Video sells “adult novelties,” lingerie, smoking accessories (you know, pot smoking supplies…but that’s a rant for another day) and of course, adult videos. It is a relatively nice store - well lit, well-attended, and not at all creepy. I’ve been there before, although sadly my only purchase was some kickass incense (Fizzy Pop - if you ever see Fizzy Pop incense, try it! Great stuff! But I digress…).

I’ve never really perused the videos in an adult stores before. Until tonight.

Oh my God, what a wealth of comedy gold I had missed out on! I mean, I’ve heard some of the classic funny video names before (Saving Ryan’s Privates, for example) and I was vaguely aware that there were some oddball fetishes out there, but I always thought those were the exception and not the rule.

If I hadn’t seen this stuff with my own eyes, I woudln’t believe it.

My favorite title by far was called Shanghai Poon. Go ahead and say it. Shanghai Poon. Hilarious. I may change my name from to Shanghai Poon. I laughed all the way through the store over that one. Shanghai Poon.

Catering to a series of fetishes that apparently needs attention, we spotted a series of sex videos involving overweight pizza delivery women. I know that the delivery guy (or girl) fantasy is pretty common, and I have read that some people find morbid obesity erotic. To each his own. I guess maybe some people might have sex fantasies that involve pizza. But much to my surprise, apparently a combination of all of these is enough of a popular fetish to warrant not one, not two, but three DVDs in a series. Just think about that the next time you are at Pizza Hut…some of the restaurant-goers are there for the pizza, but others are reading the menu like a centerfold. “Mushrooms, green olives, and extra….pepperoni….OH GOD YES PEPPERONI!!!”

Ahem. Where was I?

One of our more surreal observations was a video called “Myspace.cum.” Judging from the description on the back, it was all about high school girls having sex with their friends’ fathers. That was just too weird. Thinking back to high school, my friends’ fathers were just…old. And embarrassing. Yuck. I guess this is why I’m not in the porn business.

Some of the funniest reads were actually on the backs of the videos. I have to wonder who has the job of writing the copy on the back of adult DVDs. Whoever it is, either they are truly skilled artisans or complete idiots. Whatever the case, occasionally it works out and makes for good reading. My favorite simply said “These Texas bitches are a bunch of fucking whores!” Well said, dear wordsmith. Well said.

I’ve decided that I’m going to start visiting more porn stores, for all the wrong reasons. This is far better than any comedy club.

Shanghai Poon signing off.

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I realize this isn’t a “Miss Manners” blog, but nevertheless I present the following scenario for your consideration, my readers:

You and your fiance at are at family restaurant for a nice dinner after work. You are both well dressed, not because the restaurant commands such attire, but because that is how you like to appear. You place your coat, hat and scarf on the booth seat and take your place at the table next to your fiance. You are enjoying good conversation, and you joke with the waitress as she takes your order.

The waitress comes back with a glass of red wine which she spills all over your wool coat, your Stetson fedora, and your scarf. Fortunately, your clothes are dark so there are no stains apparent, but your clothes need a good cleaning because the smell of wine is unmistakable and pungent. You can’t even wear them out of the restaurant because it is cold and they are quite wet. Unfortunately, we’re not talking about a NASCAR T-shirt that can just be tossed in the washing machine along. The coat definitely needs to go to the dry-cleaner, and the hat…well, who cleans hats these days?

What should the waitress do? An apology is expected, of course. But should she go beyond that?

I think the appropriate reaction would have been to not charge for the dinners that evening, or offer a certificate for a meal free of charge at a later date. Alternately, offering to pay the dry cleaning bill would have been acceptable. A simple apology presented along with a full bill for the meal seemed lacking.

This isn’t a hypothetical, as this happened at a nice little family restaurant last night. I was very, very surprised that the waitress didn’t offer to do more than the, well, nothing that she did. The spill was entirely her fault, there was no question about that.

Am I wrong for thinking that? What was the appropriate response here?

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The Rusty Skillet on 27th Street admittedly doesn’t look like much. The name suggests a Charcoal Grill copycat, but the interior decor is more reminiscent of a typical 1980s family-style restaurant. Restaurants aren’t really about the decor, though. The real questions are: how is the selection, the service, and most importantly, the food?

Although it was our first trip to the Rusty Skillet, we were greeted at the door as though we were regulars. The wait staff was extremely cordial and friendly, and the waiter was full of excellent suggestions. The menu was varied, ranging from delicious sounding full-course dinners to sandwiches to desserts. And then there was the all-you-can-eat steak dinner.

Map to the Rusty Skillet:

I have never in my life heard of all-you-can-eat steak. I was immediately suspicious. The steak was probably cheap and flavorless, or the “all-you-can-eat” really meant you could have two servings before being shown the door. But not so. The steak was incredible, and not only was the steak all-you-can-eat, but so was the potato and vegetables. The potato pancakes were top-notch. Did I mention that the all-you-can-eat steak was just $12.99? Apparently that is their special on Sundays through Tuesdays. Homer Simpson would have been impressed.

For my own meal I selected the roasted chicken, and it was easily the most tender and flavorful chicken I’ve ever had.

I wished I had saved room for dessert, but I had already pushed the envelope with my meal. I plan to go back (soon!) to try one of the “Rusty Dough” desserts.

Throughout my meal I couldn’t help but think we had found one of Milwaukee’s best-kept dining secrets. For a place serving all-you-can-eat delicious steak and excellent food, the restaurant was not at all crowded.

If you go:

4763 S 27th St
Milwaukee, WI 53221
(414) 281-5090
Prices: $5-$15

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Time for my daily shout-out! Take a look at one of my “sister” blogs: Memphis, TN. Be sure to tell them that Milwaukee sent ya!

With the crazy weather and the snowy forecast for this week, sometimes it is hard to remember what’s so great about living in Wisconsin. Want a reminder?

Places to Go and Things to Do
We have the Wisconsin Dells - a wonderful blend of beauty and campy. Go kart tracks, weird attractions, cheesy shopping, antique stores, the Wisconsin Ducks (and not the quacking kind!), amazing campgrounds, mini golf, and now the largest concentration of indoor waterparks in the world.

Madison - yes, there are plenty of reasons to hate the State Capitol, but if you can put politics aside Madison is simply an amazing city. From State Street’s offbeat shopping and great parties to the college bars to the bike trails and neat little shops everywhere, Madison is truly unique. And you never get too old for Ella’s Deli.
Our Lakes - we have over 15,000 of them. Big Cedar Lake is incredibly scenic. Pike Lake is another beauty, with a wonderful trail that goes around the entire lake. Lake Geneva is another gem - there’s a reason that rich people from Illinois own vacation homes in Lake Geneva…they only wish their state was this beautiful! And we have a state park system that other states envy.
Everybody likes to go Up North. The beautiful summers, the fall colors, the renewal of spring, and okay I guess winter too - the northern parts of Wisconsin have some of the most beautiful sights. On your way, if you are lucky enough to cross the Butte des Morts (which, oddly, is NOT French for “Butt of Death” but that shouldn’t stop you from telling people it is) bridge at just the right time of sunset, you will see the most beautifiul sight on earth with the sunset reflecting on the water creating this orange glow - it is too unreal to describe!
The House on the Rock inspired Neil Gaiman in American Gods, and anything that inspires the greatest writer in modern times is certainly worth a look, don’t you think? The House is more than just odd architecture - it is a crazy collection of all sorts of…things. You have to see it to believe it. And while you are there, check out Taliesin, Frank Lloyd Wright’s estate in Spring Green, Wisconsin.
Summerfest is an obvious choice…one of the biggest music festivals in the world, you know that summer is in full swing in Milwaukee when Summerfest starts. You don’t even have to like the bands that are playing to have a good time. While Summerfest is the biggest, Milwaukee has a TON of festivals every year, from the Lakefront’s ethnic festivals to neighborhood festivals. Good fun and a great way to meet new people.
Milwaukee Art Museum - This is a world-class museum, right here, right on the lake. The building alone is worth coming to Milwaukee just to see.
My personal favorite day of the year is July 3 - the day the huge Lakefront Fireworks display is on the lakefront in Milwaukee. For the best time, get to the lakefrotn early, bring a cooler full of drinks, lots of lawn chairs, kites, rollerblades and a frisbee and enjoy a full day of summer fun.

Eating and Drinking
Leinenkugels is the best beer ever, and its brewed in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. The Honey Weiss is excellent and always popular, but their seasonal beers like the Apple Spice are just awesome.
Bars. We got ‘em. As the saying goes, all you need to incorporate a town in Wisconsin is two bars and a church. Some of them are dives, but a lot of them have character. Take At Random in Bay View - step into the ’50s decor and settle in for an ice cream drink or something else suitably offbeat. And the name? It describes their business hours. And every visitor who comes to Milwaukee should be required to go to the Safe House, a wonderful spy-themed bar/restaurant. Always great food, and always a great time. If ethnic food is your thing, we’ve got that too. From authentic Mexican to amazing Italian, extreme Thai and the best Serbian food you’ll ever have, Milwaukee has it all. If fast food is your thing, Kopps’ Frozen Custard can’t be beat, and Culvers serves the best fast food burgers in existence.

Our Seasons
Yes, we have more than just “winter and construction.” We have four seasons here, each unique in its own way. Fall is filled with beautiful colors - the red and orange maples are my favorites. Winter is cold and crisp but if you aren’t from a state that has snow I bet you don’t realize how many different kinds of snowfalls there are, and many are downright lovely. Spring is filled with awesome thunderstorms and the beauty of flowers starting to bloom and the trees and lawns returning to green. It is hard to describe the feeling of spring after a long winter…it feels a lot like being a kid again. Summer, my favorite, can be hot and humid and unpredictable.

Some of the other reasons to be here are harder to describe, but you can feel them when you are here. People are, on the whole, friendly and genuine. Many will go above and beyond to help their neighbors. The cost of living is more than reasonable. You can live here and have hope of a future instead of just scraping by because rent takes 65% of your take-home pay.

I feel like I’ve hardly touched on the reasons it is good to be here, but this blog is getting long! Sure, we talk kinda funny (eh?) and people here really do love their football team - sometimes to the point of insanity, but on the whole it is a good place to be.

And if you need further proof of why it is nice to be in Wisconsin, go spend a week in Illinois…

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Okay, after the Illinois dig, I have to give some love to the Chicago Blog. Read it here!

I have fond memories of the Seven Mile Fair, Racine County’s indoor/outdoor flea market. In the 1980s Seven Mile Fair was a treasure trove of typical flea market fare: overpriced antiques, handicrafts, Avon, knock-offs of popular toys, and good ol’ fashioned junk. One of my favorite childhood memories involved saving my pennies so that I could buy a copy of Mario Brothers for the Atari 2600 from the Atari game seller at Seven Mile Fair. Back in those days, a brand new video game cost less than $20.00.

In an effort to relive a small piece of my youth, I visited Seven Mile Fair over the weekend.

Oh, how things have changed. I’ve never been to Tijuana, but Seven Mile Fair is exactly what I imagine a Tijuana marketplace would look like.

Spanish is by far the dominant spoken language at Seven Mile Fair now. Dozens of booths featured Spanish music and movies, Quinceañera dresses, Mexican food, Western Wear, and similarly themed goods. Booths sported blinged-out jeans and hoodies, and women’s clothing that I can only describe as “hoochie-riffic” and gold-painted jewelry at ridiculously high prices.

The only thing there that was reminiscent of my childhood days at Seven Mile Fair were those awful booths selling cramped cages of stressed out puppies and birds - those were the memories of that place I wish I could have forgotten.

The best that Seven Mile Fair had to offer was long gone. I counted one booth that could appropriately be considered flea market fare - an older woman was selling some old glassware and hand-knitted barbie dresses.

Granted, the Seven Mile Fair experience during the summertime is certainly different. During the warm weather months some vendors set up outside and sell their goods under the hot sun. However, if the outside of Seven Mile Fair has changed as much as the inside did, I suspect that if I go there this summer I won’t find lemonade stands and antiques outside either. I wouldn’t be surprised if I could buy myself a burro though…

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Author’s Note, appropos of nothing at all: I saw National Treasure, Book of Secrets last week and enjoyed it immensely.